Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Tšehhid pissisid vabadussambasse

Uudistevaesel ajal täidavad leheruumi vabadussamba allakukkumise ettekuulutused, hukukuulutajatena vahelduvad astroloogid ja imeravitsejad, professorid ja poliitikud, kõigeteadjad ja juhtkirjanikud. Omalt poolt tean lisada, et tšehhid ei peitnud sambasse mitte ainult suitsukonisid, vaid ka pissisid sinna.

Alguses ma arvasin tegelikult, et Stranberg peksab segast (PM), hüppab teine lihtsalt üle pühapäevaselt madala uudiskünnise, aga ei, keemikul seekord mõistus töötas. Sternfeld tunnistas ilma rattale tõmbamatagi üles, et mitte klaasist pole see sammas, vaid tõesti plastikust. Füüsikust sõjaminister on sedakorda päris vait olnud: eks Vaarik käskinud tal andeks paluda, aga mida sa enam palud, kui kõik on nii pees kui olla saab! Nüüd võib silmad peast välja nutta, miski enam ei aita.

Need suitsukonid olid mul vahepeal täitsa meelest ära läinud, kuni ÕL need mulle jälle meelde tuletas. EE aga õpetab selgeks ühe uue sõna, mis sambaga pikaks ajaks seostuma jääb: see on mödi. Mida see tähendab, ärge minult küsige, professoriherra ei paista seda isegi täpselt teadvat. Ütleme nii, et see on lihtsalt ebamäärane haisev sodi, mis koosneb plastikust, suitsukonidest ning nurjatute tšehhide süljelärakatest ja pissist, sest lähim vets oli ehituse aegu kaugel ning meestel käib see kehakergendamine teadupärast märksa lihtsamini kui naistel. Sirts ja valmis!

Niisiis on meil mödisammas ehk kõdusammas ehk sodisammas, võib öelda ka nodisammas, sest ega see sada miljonit nii kergesti meelest ära ei lähe. See sada miljonit istub eesti rahva ajus niisama kindlalt kui Siim Kallase kümme miljonit (mäletatavasti dollarit). See sada miljonit maksumaksja raha tšehhide hädasamba eest on meil meeles sama kindlalt kui see, et struktuurides on kallutatud jõud ning et väga lihtne on olla ebanormaalne.

Ometi on üks kena naesterahvas, keda harimata matsirahvas seostab küll ainult hobuse t...ga, välja käinud geniaalse mõtte: see sammas tuleb maha tõmmata ning selle asemele kaevata auk (EE). Puust ette ja punaseks: fallose asemel peaks olema vagiina. Jutul on mõte sees, sest meie vabadus pole aegade jooksul ju kunagi teab kui pikk olnud, sügavuse mõõdet on talle märksa kergem juurde kujutleda kui pikkust. Pealegi võib kergesti ära tõestada, et vabadus on pigem emane kui isane.

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